Moan for me like Helen Keller
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When did angry sex become our thing?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
