is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It's just like the Real World with babies
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
