how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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