i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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