Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
