Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
