I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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