were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
