Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
