I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
