): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
