It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
