Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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