Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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