you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
