Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
