had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
