check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Duck Duck Cougar?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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