Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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