TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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