i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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