Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
