I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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