Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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