Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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