What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
