my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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