Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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