ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
