David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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