you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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