dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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