Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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