Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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