Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
