Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork. http://tfl.nu/lbeq
  Replies (20) Good night (2744) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one. http://tfl.nu/nv72
  Replies (17) Good night (3757) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies http://tfl.nu/u66b
  Replies (25) Good night (7936) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex" http://tfl.nu/rqj6
  Replies (16) Good night (6213) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting. http://tfl.nu/wbx1
  Replies (12) Good night (3798) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis http://tfl.nu/cmya
  Replies (5) Good night (849) Bad night (2889)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  and you succeeded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk. (1-919): and you succeeded. http://tfl.nu/9cm4
  Replies (11) Good night (4360) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd. http://tfl.nu/nwi3
  Replies (16) Good night (4838) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/37ux
  Replies (13) Good night (2585) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745. http://tfl.nu/vvre
  Replies (4) Good night (1271) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is http://tfl.nu/18uv
  Replies (8) Good night (1590) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him? http://tfl.nu/nbty
  Replies (9) Good night (529) Bad night (1680)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (567): Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger. http://tfl.nu/4mv9
  Replies (7) Good night (754) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it http://tfl.nu/u9hv
  Replies (2) Good night (231) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing. http://tfl.nu/bv2c
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (220)

Randomize