Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.

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  (718): we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love. http://tfl.nu/cgcu
  Replies (9) Good night (4939) Bad night (1011)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked

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  (614): hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked http://tfl.nu/5a6g
  Replies (15) Good night (1046) Bad night (3961)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.

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  (414): no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good. http://tfl.nu/zhbu
  Replies (23) Good night (5741) Bad night (1152)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.

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  (404): i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice. http://tfl.nu/2mv5
  Replies (11) Good night (988) Bad night (3378)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again

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  (816): That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again http://tfl.nu/xxfj
  Replies (68) Good night (12982) Bad night (2391)
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  (518): View more from New York

  plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.

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  (518): plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/e2rh
  Replies (29) Good night (5835) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.

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  (802): Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants. http://tfl.nu/qi2o
  Replies (5) Good night (2012) Bad night (1147)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have

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  (484): But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have http://tfl.nu/07zt
  Replies (3) Good night (1075) Bad night (590)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.

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  (513): Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen. http://tfl.nu/spnv
  Replies (2) Good night (833) Bad night (1802)
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  (408): View more from California

  You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.

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  (408): You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it. http://tfl.nu/jmvc
  Replies (6) Good night (1225) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen

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  (907): Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen http://tfl.nu/aug1
  Replies (14) Good night (928) Bad night (2578)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless

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  (914): Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless http://tfl.nu/meln
  Replies (5) Good night (1087) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration

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  (610): You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration http://tfl.nu/k4dg
  Replies (2) Good night (759) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.

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  (310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there. http://tfl.nu/gafs
  Replies (3) Good night (921) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.

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  (505): He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself. http://tfl.nu/17i2
  Replies (0) Good night (300) Bad night (480)

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