I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.