Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm drunk

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Is that why you're texting me

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Yes

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  (405): I'm drunk (615): Is that why you're texting me (405): Yes http://tfl.nu/5xy8
  Replies (16) Good night (1686) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  so then she threw up in his asshole

  (1-231): View more from Michigan

  yep..that'll do it.

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  (231): so then she threw up in his asshole (1-231): yep..that'll do it. http://tfl.nu/f3qy
  Replies (15) Good night (737) Bad night (4482)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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  (508): Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here http://tfl.nu/nzus
  Replies (22) Good night (3982) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

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  (306): No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes. http://tfl.nu/ocj3
  Replies (23) Good night (5691) Bad night (3344)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella

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  (573): i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella http://tfl.nu/sjyh
  Replies (34) Good night (6277) Bad night (2253)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.

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  (206): He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful. http://tfl.nu/c0jh
  Replies (29) Good night (1046) Bad night (3489)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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  (703): This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar. http://tfl.nu/4fqp
  Replies (9) Good night (2521) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.

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  (310): Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever. http://tfl.nu/0wwj
  Replies (6) Good night (2490) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.

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  (870): I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car. http://tfl.nu/7djn
  Replies (15) Good night (4707) Bad night (1511)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.

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  (609): I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds. http://tfl.nu/dlpp
  Replies (5) Good night (1466) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive

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  (412): The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive http://tfl.nu/jyc3
  Replies (3) Good night (1502) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.

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  (281): When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down. http://tfl.nu/j4so
  Replies (2) Good night (1180) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'

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  (702): Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me' http://tfl.nu/i2h1
  Replies (4) Good night (1128) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night

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  (701): I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night http://tfl.nu/x7bo
  Replies (1) Good night (283) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.

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  (513): Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one. http://tfl.nu/jklt
  Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (341)

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