it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
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I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!