Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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(518): I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever. http://tfl.nu/idj0

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers

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(203): Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers http://tfl.nu/86dj

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(301): View more from Maryland

I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry

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(301): I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry http://tfl.nu/c00a

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(614): View more from Ohio

im so drunk with asians

(1-614): View more from Ohio

where?

(614): View more from Ohio

always

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(614): im so drunk with asians (1-614): where? (614): always http://tfl.nu/is91

Replies (43) Good night (7289) Bad night (617)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly

(1-208): View more from Idaho

What is a GED?

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(208): Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly (1-208): What is a GED? http://tfl.nu/qgi3

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.

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(814): We need to get her some penis inspired head protection. http://tfl.nu/pcof

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(815): View more from Illinois

my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward

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(815): my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward http://tfl.nu/w58u

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(240): View more from Maryland

I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.

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(240): I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop. http://tfl.nu/iw16

Replies (20) Good night (3574) Bad night (1316)
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(407): View more from Florida

She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".

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(407): She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high". http://tfl.nu/d3ih

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(434): View more from Virginia

I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.

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(434): I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME. http://tfl.nu/rn1v

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(813): View more from Florida

I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam

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(813): I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam http://tfl.nu/m89k

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(301): View more from Maryland

Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.

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(301): Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level. http://tfl.nu/wvpb

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(574): View more from Indiana

should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?

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(574): should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know? http://tfl.nu/sb56

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON

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(610): BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON http://tfl.nu/ic7e

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends

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(304): I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends http://tfl.nu/jtxo

Replies (5) Good night (384) Bad night (627)

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