Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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