They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
