So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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