Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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