Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize