walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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