maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
