Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Even my vagina gasped.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
