i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
they're like a gay fantastic four
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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