dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
