Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
