YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
