Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
