Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
