this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
