Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
