New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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