His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
