no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
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some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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