easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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