You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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