there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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