I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
