Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
