just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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