i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
