Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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