so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
