I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
did i just pee glitter
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
