He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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