dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
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I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
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Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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